I might sounds weird, but sometimes I don’t believe in marriage. I don’t know. I am super weirdo woman. I had been surround by women that dying to get marry after graduated. But still, marriage is not on my mind. If I do think, it may last only for 30mins (usually when I attending someone wedding).
So, a few months ago, someone talks about getting engaged and married to me. After years, all my ladies talking about marriage, the day for me comes. I am so excited like tomorrow is a big day. Being a normal woman, I like to continue the discussion about the big day, but I left frustrated. It’s only ‘cakap-cakap’. So, I end up blame myself not to think about married again.
But, the ‘cakap-cakap’ comes again, but this times I talk and think little. I am scared to think about marriage. If only I dare to think seriously about marriage, when I had had a zillion monies in my account bank. Again, the proposal is ‘cakap-cakap’ only. No further action or discussion, which I believe it someone trick to ensure a woman to stick with him without a serious commitment.
Marriage need two persons and it involve money. Person like me with no decent job, only able to feed myself, pay education loan and loan and loan and parents and brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. So, marriage is not a good choice.
A year in relationship does not ensure anything to us. Other than wasting money and time, relationship make women cries for what men done. Where is a good thing to be in relationship? I am confused.
In coming New Year, a marriage is a no-no to me. I may talk loud about getting marriage, but deep down inside I don’t believe in it. Being alone at the end of day may be one of good choice. May be.
3 comments:
I believe in marriage!
I also afraid of marriage and commitment. Also afraid about the amount of money required to complete the process. Lepas tu nak bela anak orang lagi. Jaga diri sendiri pun tunggang langgang. Lepas tu kalau dapat anak sendiri. Lagi satu hal. Nak kena bela juga. Tapi dalam tak percaya, dalam takut2, aku dah kawin tahun 2006. Now aku ada anak kembar umur dekat setahun. Aku struggle financially, and commitment and struggle to carry the responsibility. Tapi tuhan tolong orang yang kawin dengan niat kerana Allah. Amin.
thats why ganjaran kawin Allah sediakan byk..sbb byk dugaannya..of course disebalik kebutuhan mu, ada tersedia jalan penyelesaiannya ..take it easy.
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